Category Archives: Pop Culture

Free Speech vs. Anonymity

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The internet is abuzz with the story of Rosemary Port, the blogger behind the “Skanks of NYC” blog. Google was sued by one of the targets of her vitriol (a model named Liskula Cohen) and was forced by courts reveal her real life identity.

Port, a 29-year-old student at FIT, is unapologetic. In fact, you could argue that she’s even more outraged than Cohen, who initially brought the defamation suit against her, considering that Port is now suing Google for $15 million dollars. Nevermind the fact that Google was only abiding by a court’s ruling…

I promise I'll never hide my identity if I run a blog that calls you a skank

What bothers me most about this story is what bothers me a lot about blogs and internet commentary. People like to hide behind the First Amendment and believe they should be allowed to spout hateful, libelous comments without the consequence of actually having to own up to their comments.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

But there’s nothing in the First Amendment that guarantees anonymity in your free speech. See, that’s the difference and where the internet can be a dangerous place. People can hide behind aliases and while many would argue that anonymity allows for a more free exchange of ideas (as has been upheld by a 1995 Supreme Court ruling), the truth is that it has very little to do with the First Amendment.

There are organizations that will try to tell you that you are entitled to your anonymity. There has even been precedent set by previous rulings, but frankly, the court’s ruling that Google must release Port’s identity is going to set a whole new standard.

I’ve long thought that the anonymity afforded bloggers and commenters on the Web allowed people to expose their hatred and racism (just a quick reading of the comments — comments that I would reject — on Tony’s Kansas City will show you that). But those things are actually truths that people just normally don’t share in real life. More dangerous is the flat out fallacies and untruths that people write, hiding behind their veiled “online persona.” I know there are people that do it for the protection of their job or their family or whatever, but I guess that’s just not the kind of blogger I want to be.

I’ve always tried to be myself online. I would hope that my readers will always hold me to that, especially the ones that know me in real life.

What do you think? Is anonymity a part of what the Web is about or does it afford authors and commenters too much leeway?

Genius gathers crazy

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Is anyone else sick of the Michael Jackson coverage?

Look, the guy was a musical genius. There’s no doubt about it. Sure, he was eccentric (to put it nicely) in his personal life, but let’s be honest: his crazy was just an elevation of the musical phenoms that came before him. Elvis. The Beatles. Kurt Cobain. All of these musicians are considered to some of the Greatest of All-Time. And every single one of them was at one point surrounded by an entourage that only fueled their madness.

  • Elvis had Colonel Tom Parker and Priscilla.
  • The Beatles had Yoko Ono and Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
  • Kurt Cobain had Courtney Love.

I’d say that these folks are lightweights compared to the crazies I’ve seen trotted out daily to comment on Michael Jackson’s estate. His lawyer. His other lawyer. His previous lawyer. His “close friend”. His spiritual advisor. His nanny. It’s an unending stream of people who have done nothing but suckle at the teat of his fame and exploit his insecurities to make themselves rich.

What is it about the ridiculously talented that keeps them from finding stable and normal people to help them with their careers? Is there a service where famous people can send out for their “advisers”? 1-888-NUT4HIRE?

I just don’t get it.

Oversight Needed

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 Bernie Madoff

I know that Bernard Madoff is likely guilty.

He cheated investors out of not millions but billions of dollars. He is the essence of greed in a world that is in an increasing struggle. His clients were rich folks, but that doesn’t mean they deserve to be stolen from.

But this isn’t a story about Bernie Madoff, but rather a complaint about the unruly paparazzi. I saw a video clip of the scene when this picture was taken on the Today Show this morning. I saw a man trying to walk down the street in Manhattan accosted by a swarm of hungry paparazzi so desperate to get “the shot” that one of them even committed light assault by pushing Madoff back far enough for him to get a better picture.

If we can provide oversight to the Big Three, why can’t we rein in these paparazzi who are completely out of control? I know that most of these folks probably should understand that it is part of what comes with being a celebrity, but everyone has a right to privacy that is just not afforded to folks when they are considered a part of the “public domain”.

All for a good shot? It’s a good thing I’m not a celebrity because I’d regularly be appearing before the courts for knocking fools with cameras out.

Relationship Advice

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Today, People Magazine posted a story online (I got the link from CNN, I swear) in which Vanessa Hudgens (she of High School Musical fame) shares the “secret to her great relationship with co-star Zac Efron.”

There are so many things wrong with this story, but I’d like to tackle her “secret.”

“If you really love someone, you shouldn’t have to work at it,” the actress tells Cosmo Girl! for its July/August issue, reports Entertainment Tonight. “You finish each others’ sentences and have the same sense of humor.”

First of all, it should be assumed that we all know this is a 19-year-old talking about the secret of her great relationship with her 20-year-old co-star. It’s beyond ridiculousness. Hudgens and Efron have been dating since October of 2007. For those of you that are bad with math, that’s less than 12 months.

While a great relationship should not feel like work, you still have to work at it. If I’m going to take a celebrity’s sage advice about relationships, I’ll stick with my boy Will Smith who said:

Will and Jada Smith with son Jaden on the red carpet at the Oscars

“Counseling, individual learning, books, conflict resolution,” Smith confided. “It is a full time job to try and be happy. People tend to think that they can go to work for 50 or 60 hours a week and then come home and their relationship is just supposed to work.”

That’s the truth. Why would you spend less time working at your relationship than you do on your career? I know that People’s business is selling magazines and driving traffic to their site, but it’s really irresponsible for them to prop up this lackadaisical attitude toward relationships, especially from a teenage pop star who has been in her supposed “serious” relationship less than a year.

Over the past several months, Alli and I have been doing some pre-marital counseling for a couple that I will be marrying in late July. It’s been a terrific experience because out of all the things I’m good at, I think I’m probably best at being married. It’s not a skill that will necessarily lead to a long, illustrious career, but it sure makes my life a lot more enjoyable.

One of the things that I’ve found is a constant in the couples that I look to as relationship mentors in my life is that if you want to make a relationship or a marriage work, you should work harder at your relationship than you would in your career. When you do, it won’t feel like work. You’ll be happier, your significant other will be happier, and you’ll find that working at a relationship can be the most rewarding thing that you’ll ever do. If I had but one piece of advice to give to couples, that would be it.

That, and don’t get relationship advice from 19-year-olds in People Magazine.

Magazine Awesomeness

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When I was in college, I loved my magazines. I got all the typical “dude” magazines — Maxim, Stuff…I think I even got FHM for a while. I read every Maxim cover-to-cover. At that time, it was a great magazine. It sounds corny, but I really did read it for the articles. I still remember an article on Saddam Hussein’s two sons that was particularly harrowing and fascinating.

Over time, I grew out of that mentality. I got married and began my search for a better magazine, one that was relevant to what I liked and what interested me. I tried GQ for a while. I thought that GQ was a sensible step forward from Maxim, something a little more mature. Except that it was too mature. I was still in my 20′s and GQ seemed so late-30′s to me. Plus, it took itself a lot more seriously than it should, especially when they were running articles about how Jessica Simpson was the “All-American Girl”.

For the last couple years, I’ve been subscribing to Wired. I figured as a technology professional, it made sense. It’s an interesting enough magazine, filled with fascinating articles and nerdy things. There tend to be very interesting nuggets, but they are not nearly as frequent as I’d like.

Then, last summer before we left for Italy, I picked up Best Life, a magazine put out by the editors of Men’s Health. I steered clear of picking it up at first, focusing on the books I had brought to read. But on the train one day, I pulled out my Best Life, an oversized magazine that looked promising.

I ended up reading the magazine cover-to-cover. Each section was well-written and extremely interesting and had insight into things that mattered like how to improve your finances and your relationships, your health and your career.

Finally, a magazine that that I looked forward to getting every month!

One problem. It only comes out 10 times per year. That is not acceptable. At least give me my other two issues for my subscription fees. And keep the great issues coming.