I’ve really been lacking in the book category this year. I haven’t been particularly inspired to read anything in particular (although I scanned through The Brand Gap and I’m about 2/3 of the way through The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing.

For my first attempt this year, I wanted to read Love Monkey by Kyle Smith, the book on which the failed TV show (which I loved) was based.

I have not finished the book yet because I want to punch the main character in the face. There are characters you are supposed to dislike. And then there are characters that are supposed to be liked, but fail miserably because they are complete wanks.

Maybe I was a little too hopeful. I loved the show and thought it was a traveshamockery that it got cancelled. Tom Cavanaugh (of Ed fame) was brilliant on it and the casting was really great. After reading the book, I realized that they only took the characters and then a much better writer than Smith actually made them likable. Because the book namesakes are downright loathsome.

Not only that, but the main character doesn’t work at a cool record company, but at a tabloid (Smith works for the New York Post). You’d think it might make him that much more interesting, but it just makes him even more unlikeable.

Now I’d like to say that I’m not biased, but after I read about the crack that he laid on my boy Kevin Smith (see here near the bottom of the page), I lost a lot of respect for him. And then, after reading some of the reviews that Silent Bob came up with about Love Monkey’s original release on his site…stuff like:

“(Kyle) Smith has clearly taken lessons from a few successful writers of chick lit, but his boy version of Bridget Jones lacks the key ingredient: a sympathetic protagonist.” – Publisher’s Weekly

“In his first novel, Smith, the book and music review editor of People magazine, tries too hard to be clever (like Tom himself), piling witticism upon witticism and referencing numerous “in” people, places, and events. Consequently, the book seems facile rather than meaningful, at least to this reviewer, who is neither male nor thirtysomething nor a New Yorker. Libraries looking for lad lit to satisfy this demographic should purchase. Others can safely pass.” – Library Journal

“The monologues are nothing a smarter-than-average Maxim reader wouldn’t come up with” Kirkus Reviews

So anyway, maybe I’m a little biased because when you go after Kevin Smith, you offend me a little bit, but these reviews were more than telling. I’m not even sure if I want to finish it. It’s stalling me from getting to any other books, and now February is over and I’ve read ZERO books this year. That’s poor. Last year at this time, I’d read TEN.

So sad.

Kyle Smith, it’s all your fault.